Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
