But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
