You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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