I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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