I wish my penis had an off switch
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i think im in europe. pls send help
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
