Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
