DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
