ya dads aren't the best wingmen
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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