dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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