you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
