So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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