your parents love me but you hate me
You really coming over, don't trick.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize