I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
