weddingsv make me drug and hornr
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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