i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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