return my video game
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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