"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
