Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
