Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
