Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
