dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
