thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
