You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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