That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
