My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We were destined to go to rehab together
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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