I feel like I'm in dance class right now
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
