so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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