my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize