how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
