Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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