She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
