Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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