is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.