ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
