i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
