Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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