Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
