I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize