Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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