you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
