She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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