I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
