Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
