I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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