I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.