You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.