nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.