Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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(574): View more from Indiana

i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got to costco. Where are you?

(602): View more from Arizona

Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

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(407): View more from Florida

I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.

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(210): View more from Texas

We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.

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(740): View more from Ohio

All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.

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