Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
