Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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