It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
