we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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