There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
