The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
