Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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