I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
