Three words: puerto rican gang bang
4 words: hood of his car
No more Irish car bombs ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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