Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
