she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
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