What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
