i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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