I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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