please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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