They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
