the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
