what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
