just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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