This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
