arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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