so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
