Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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